Updated: May 9
"In all relationships there has always been a conflict between love and respect. When there is intimacy, respect disappears. Where there is respect, distance appears. Everyone int his universe is full of love, and wants to love and to be in love.
But yet, why are there so many problems? Especially among lovers, there are big, big problems. Why is this so?
Man wants to hold onto both love and respect. But he finds that as he is in love, the respect is lost, and when there is respect, the love is lost. Love gets subdued. It goes underground. Respect is as much wanted by a person, by any individual, as he wants love.
So there is always a struggle for what one does not have. lf there is respect, then the person longs for love. You would see in society the most respected people are longing for love.
And when there is love, the person longs for respect. When respect is lost, even love gets lost. That is why a husband and wife fight. It's a simple mechanism. Friends fight too - they have become close together and they know each other very well now, so all respect is lost. Respect seems to be for one whom you don't know very well. In familiarity, respect seems to dissolve and disappear and go underground. Just turn back and look.
You loved somebody from a distance. As you became closer and closer and closer, you became familiar with each other and then the respect was lost. The husband thinks that his wife does not respect him and the wife thinks that the husband does not honor and respect her. This is a deep problem, an age-old problem.
Respect and intimacy seem to be farther away. When there is respect, naturally a distance develops. We keep God too high. Respect comes when somebody is higher than you, something is higher than you and you are a little below, then you can have respect, but then love cannot happen.
Love flows in equality. Love flows when there is no high and low. Love has a strange law, it's not like water which flows from high to low. Love flows in a plateau when there is evenness."
S.S. Ravi Shankar